Here's the deal...

I haven't been posting much. To those of you that follow our blog and check in often, I apologize for the silence. To be real, I'm exhausted. We're exhausted. Unfortunately, there just hasn't been much to update about. We've had a few random "early connections" that have quickly dissipated. We always hold out hope that one will find it's way back to us, but that hope is also quickly dissipating. I've tried my hardest to stay strong and positive for nearly five years. And the past few months have been really wearing on me. I'm less patient with the process. I'm becoming more unsettled about our future with children. I don't want it to seem like "giving up", more like "moving on". We're not there yet...but its in discussion. Our contract with Angel Adoption expires on December 9th. At that time, we will evaluate our current situation and spend the new year either mourning a failed journey, to move forward in life without children. Or, we will mourn our failed journey with Angel Adoption and make new plans for our family. We're not putting a time limit on it. Or making any decisions now. But it is nice to have December 9th as a starting point to decide what's next.


It'd be so weird to come this far, and end with nothing.

Wait

“It’s a constant struggle to sit in His sovereignty. When everything is falling apart in your mind, just to wait.” ~Walt Manis

18 Months

This Wednesday marks the beginning of our 18 month wait to find our forever baby. When we signed with Angel Adoption, Inc., we were told the average wait time was 12-18 months. Whelp.... here we are, 18 months in February. I keep reminding myself that what's meant to be, will be. And that God has many blessings coming our way. And really, at this point, we are closer to being parents, than we are from it. Angel claims 98% of their clients adopt within 24 months. Keep praying that we are one of the 98% and our baby will find us soon.


In other news, we were fortunate to be gifted a getaway in paradise - Cancun, Mexico. Last week, Jim and I spent 7 nights and 6 days relaxing, reading, and loving each other. I don't think Jim or I realized how badly we needed to get away and regroup.  It was the perfect vacation. I wouldn't change a thing. Well, chair clips; I'd bring chair clips for our towels :-)

September Update

This afternoon we received our monthly update from Angel Adoption, Inc. Our profile was sent out 10 times to potential birthmothers and our online profile was viewed 89 times. I don't really track the online profiles much, as I think it's mainly other adoptive families reading each others profiles (competition, if you will).
10 times. I guess that's 10 opportunities for us to find our baby. Sometimes though, it's a reminder like that was 10 opportunities that came and went. I start questioning our profile; is something coming out wrong? I start questioning us; what makes another family more appealing, and we get left behind? I know I just have to keep a good attitude and put all of our trust in God that this will work out as it is suppose to, and one day, the journey will all make sense. In the meantime, I've noticed that I'm feeling frustrated and a little sad.

Why God took so long to give me a baby

My dear friend, Jennifer sent this link to me today (luckily I was at home on lunch, because I was a blubbering mess).

Jim and I are coming upon our four year wedding anniversary. Also known as, to me, our four years of waiting to grow our family. FOUR YEARS. I vividly remember reading blogs written by women sharing stories of their fertility/baby struggles, and it taking 4+ years. I remember thinking "I just can't imagine..." "how do you get through that?.." "wouldn't you just give up?!.." 

I can imagine it now, because I've lived it. You get through it by waking up every morning, by breathing, by the grace of God, by the support of friends and family, and because the desire to be parents was placed in your hearts before you even knew each other. Yes, you do want to give up. You want to give up on trying every month with no success. You want to give up on injecting your body full of drugs that make you fat, bloated, bruised and a raging emotional bitch. You want to give up spending thousands of dollars to lose two babies in two years. You want to give up on your marriage because you want your spouse to have the family they deserve. You want to give up on yourself because you feel like your body, your womanhood is failing you.  You want to give up on adoption because all you really know is disappointment and heartbreak. But you never give up. You keep moving forward.  You keep loving each other through it. You keep praying in hopes It’s because He’s forming something so breathtaking and beautiful…it cannot be rushed.


You keep praying.

The waiting game

We've been in Georgia since Saturday evening. All is well - we thought today might be the day as Ayanna's blood pressure is really high. We spent time at the clinic and the hospital. Luckily, they sent Ayanna home with some blood pressure medicine in hopes baby can cook until 38 weeks (Monday). 

In the meantime, we have spent a part of each day with Ayanna and her girls. We are glad we are here. We love spending time together and being here to support Ayanna in any way we can. Our hearts are hopeful and anxious to meet little girl. We will do our best to keep you posted via this blog and texts/phone calls. We feel your prayers and we are grateful. 

May Check-In

Good morning!


April showers bring May flowers and we got a bouquet yesterday - we received our monthly update from Angel, our profile went out 12 times last month!!! That's amazing! The typically number is 3-6. And our website profile was viewed over 400 times. Good things are on the horizon, we can feel it. We are putting all of our positive energy out in the universe and we invite you to do the same.

April check-in

Good morning, friends!


Not much to update other than we just wanted to check in to remind you that we are here. No news from Angel recently regarding birthmothers. We get updates every month letting us know how many times our profile went out to expectant mothers. For the month of March, our profile was sent out 5 times, and our web profile was viewed 374 times (thanks to all of you). Angel reminds us that expectant mothers can hold on to profiles for several months before deciding what to do, so we have to keep the faith that we will be connected at the right time with the right person.


Thankfully, and by the grace of God, I have had a spiritual awakening. I have more faith than ever, and I believe good things are headed our way. So much in fact, that I have started collecting baby items again. Little by little. Jim and I put together the bookcase that we bought several months ago. I snagged a few *new* favorite baby books, and as small of a gesture as it may seem, the door to the nursery is kept open again. It's a beautiful room; full of light, and hope. Now when I walk by, it brings a smile to my face and visions of the blessings to come.


Have a great week!

Time to share again!

Can I ask that if you came to our blog today, that you share this with someone? Below is the link to our adoption profile. What about an email to friends and family to let them know you have a connection to someone hoping to adopt? Maybe someone in your Book Club has a connection you are unaware of? Share our profile with a brief description of how you know us on Facebook. Church groups are an excellent way to spread the word and create connections and support!


http://www.angeladoptioninc.com/adoption-family/profile/jim-anne/


Thank you in advance.


xoxo,
Anne & Jim

Can you do us a favor?

We are reaching out to all of you to help us find our little one. You never know if your friends cousin, neighbors daughter, co-workers niece, college students friend, might be expecting and considering adoption. Sure, it sounds like a long shot, but it does happen. We know couples that have made connections privately through friends and family. So please keep your ears open, reach out to your friends, church, relatives, etc.. We welcome all the help we can get. Please share this blog with your friends, family, and co-workers.


A few things for you to know:

• We are certified for domestic adoption
• We are open to any race and gender
• We are open to any afterbirth scenario (closed, semi-open, or open)
• We are CPR and First Aid certified
• Our email is JimandAnne1112@gmail.com
• We are not certified for Foster care

We have considered making an adoption Facebook page, website, photo books, etc.. If you think you need something to help us get the word out, let us know! We welcome suggestions. :)


Thank you for your continued support.


Anne & Jim

Checking In

Not much happening these days so that's why the blog has been pretty quiet. Please keep us in your prayers as we wait for our little one... Whenever that may be. 

Xo

We are live!

As of this afternoon, our profile is live! This means that if there are expectant mothers that meet our criteria, and are due in November or later, they will receive our profile. Oh, my goodness, I can't explain how exciting and nerve-wracking this is... It's hard not to get our hopes up that this could happen quickly for us. When Jim and I started dating, we referred to ourselves as "The Lucky Ones". Unfortunately, we haven't referenced that in a long time. Oh, I want so badly for us to feel "lucky" again.
Please keep us in your prayers.

Patience

Another pregnancy announcement today. People might perceive this entry as a negative response to others happiness. It's not that. Some days are just harder than others. We're happy that so many people are blessed with the ease to expand their family.  In the past month, three people have announced their pregnancy for not their first child since we found out that we would struggle to expand our family, but now their second pregnancy. We're aware of how long we've been trying because of the effort... the excitement... and tragedies, but when people have two children in the time you're fighting for one, it's a harsh reality of how long it's actually been.

With that said, we find comfort in knowing we are on our way to becoming parents and expanding our family. It's just going to take a lot longer than most.