Thank you

Thank you for all of your supportive and encouraging words. We are very grateful to have such loving friends and family! Your thoughts and prayers keep us positive and strong, which we will continue to need throughout this journey.

Love,

Anne & Jim

The word is out!

So we started this blog about two weeks ago (for therapeutic reasons and for informational purposes), but today is the day someone other than us will read it - Welcome! 

We spent the weekend in Austin, spending our time with Anne's friend Ashely and Jim's sister Julia. We waited to share our exciting news via email until we could have some face time with these peeps. It's exciting to share the news, get joyful reactions, and educate people on the process. And now we're excited to share the news with all of you!

We received an email from Angel while we were vacationing that they received our profile. They will review our packet and within 1-2 weeks our profile will be sent out! So exciting. Because our home study is not yet complete, our profile will only be shared with expectant mothers with a due date later than our expected home study completion (after October, most likely). 

What we've learned so far

As we mentioned earlier, we have not signed a contract with an adoption agency, only a marketing agency, that helps get our profile out more frequently. What this means, is that in addition to Angel finding us a birth mother, we can find one, too! We have been researching Illinois attorney's to potentially help with this process. Most attorneys require a retainer fee, but their services last until you have a child placed in your home.  After speaking with a Charleston attorney, we learned a little more about this process. As it turns out, there have been two Illinois adoption agencies close in the past few months because birthmothers are using placement agencies less and less. These days, they are researching families on their own, using the internet, etc. Essentially, we are paying a premium to market ourselves through Angel - not a bad thing, since this is how a lot of birthmothers are finding their "matches". An attorney can help find matches, but on a smaller scale, all local (Illinois). Using an attorney is just another person getting our profile out to expectant mothers. If by chance we do find a private adoption without Angel, we can put our profile on hold and use their services again later.


We also are reaching out to all of you. You never know if your cousins, friends, uncles, sons girlfriend might be expecting and considering adoption. Sure, it sounds like a long shot, but it does happen. So keep your ears open, reach out to your friends, church, etc. We welcome all the help we can get.


Thank you,
Anne & Jim

Homework Packet(s)

Yesterday, we were assigned a social worker in Springfield & we scheduled our first in-office visit for September 14th. She sent us our "Homework Packets". Both are 15 pages each, but good news for us, 6 of those pages get sent to our friends for reference letters. Whew! Some of the pages include things like a Fire Evacuation Plan - Now, this is my kind of paperwork! I'm glad we have to do things like this, Ha-ha. (Jim is rolling his eyes.) Question #2) If you reside in a two story home and your children's bedrooms are on the upper level what are the means of escape in case the children cannot exit down the stairs? Escape ladder here we come! Or better yet, maybe we can install a slide so we can get Lilly and Leonard out easier, too. All joking aside, I really am glad we have to do things like this. It may seem a little overboard right now, but I am all about safety and planning. A safe home is a happy home. :)

Friends - Adoption Letter

Celebrating getting the rest of packet #2 sent off! Pretty sure the homework packet (#3) includes reference letters from our selected friends. Just remember, we are human prepossessing homo sapiens with full size aortic pumps.
xoxo

 

Patience

Another pregnancy announcement today. People might perceive this entry as a negative response to others happiness. It's not that. Some days are just harder than others. We're happy that so many people are blessed with the ease to expand their family.  In the past month, three people have announced their pregnancy for not their first child since we found out that we would struggle to expand our family, but now their second pregnancy. We're aware of how long we've been trying because of the effort... the excitement... and tragedies, but when people have two children in the time you're fighting for one, it's a harsh reality of how long it's actually been.

With that said, we find comfort in knowing we are on our way to becoming parents and expanding our family. It's just going to take a lot longer than most. 

Details

So…what are the details??? A lot of you are probably wondering the same things - so here's a few more details:

 Jim and I have signed a contract with a company out of Illinois that deals with infant adoption only. Technically, they are a marketing agency – not a licensed adoption agency. They work through Lutheran Child Family Services as their licensed agent. Why did we choose them? A) Cost. It’s about 1/3 the price of a large agency, B) It’s a small program, they only accept 6-8 families a month and they have a 98% placement rate under 24 months! Which is AWESOME. We also found this company through friends of friends that have adopted or that are in the program along with us.

 How does this work? Jim and I have filled out a profile that includes information about us, our family, our home, our pets, etc. We sent several pictures (probably some that include you), filled out questions such as adoption arrangement, and other factors. All of this information was compiled into our adoption profile. This profile is sent out to expectant mothers nationwide that are considering adoption. If they are interested in us, they let the company know, and they put us in touch. We talk on the phone, skype, meet, whatever it takes. This part of the process is called “Connected”. If the birthmother chooses us (which she will, because we are awesome), then we are “Matched”. And that’s the exciting part!!. Typically, a lawyer is hired in the state of the birthmother about 1-2 months before the expected due date. Some mothers stay in touch throughout pregnancy, some get a little distant. It’s a game of hope and patience. We wait for the call that she is in labor and we drive or fly to wherever she may be. Then 3-14 days later, once the paperwork is complete, we come home with our baby.

 Jim and I are open to any race and any gender.

 We are also open to the expectant mothers adoption arrangement preference: Open – annual visits, Semi-Open – letters and pictures, or Closed – no contact. We have mixed emotions about all of the scenarios. But most of all, we want what is best for our child; an arrangement that offers them the most answers and peace.

 What is the timeframe? The average wait is 12-16 months. Could be shorter, could be longer.

Xoxo,

Anne & Jim

Pictures

Hey, Hey, Hey! We got our pictures back from Joanna Strauss Photography! We didn't want to go overboard with the professional photographs, but also wanted to throw in a few recent images for our profile. Here's a sneak peak!

Getting started!

Things have been happening to get the adoption process going! We sent our contract to Angel at the beginning of August, and received the information to start building our profile. It’s hard to describe what it’s like to write to your potential birthmother (expectant mother). We found ourselves very humbled finding words to express not only our gratitude, but our endless compassion for this person and the decision they are making. In such a short time I feel like this experience has already changed who I am as a person. I feel like I have already expanded my open mindedness and this is just the beginning!

 It’s funny, we kind of struggled with how to portray our relationship, our life now and how we are going to incorporate our future child in this life we share. Seems simple enough, except that you are writing this to someone that ultimately decides if their child is placed with you… All I kept thinking was don’t say something stupid, don’t make it sound like we have too much fun, because then they can’t imagine us with a child… But we don’t want to sound boring either… You see where I’m getting here. And then it clicked. We just have to be ourselves. We have to describe our daily activities (that typically revolve around our dog), our family, and our passion – building our family.

 In unison, we sent our application for our home study to LCFS (Lutheran Child and Family Services). Wow! That’s a lot of paperwork. And just when you think you’re done, they’re like, “Great! We received your packet. Packet #2 is on the way out today.” Oh bother, this one is a doozy. It’s taking us more time than we anticipated because we have to gather so much paperwork that we don’t necessarily keep at hand. But we are almost there. I’m anxious for this one to be complete. Except that she explained that the next one is the “homework packet”. :-/ We’ve sent off our finger prints, which we hear takes the longest to turn around (4-6 weeks). Pretty soon we will be traveling to Springfield for interviews and then finally, our in-home visit. We’ve already started the little things like outlet covers, etc. We’re waiting for the last minute to install child safety locks on cabinets (Yes, you have to have these in place before you even have a child…) – I’ve never been good at managing child locks. And if I put locks on the cabinets for my cleaning supplies, I’ll probably just see it as an excuse to not clean.