November Update

'Tis the season to be jolly, I guess! We received our monthly update from Angel this weekend, and our profile went out 35 times to potential birthmothers. Yowza! I can't help but hold on to the thought that we could be parents before Christmas or New Years. I am praying so consistently to make this dream come true; while accepting whatever God has planned is what's best for us. I have joy in my heart this Holiday Season. I know our baby will find us soon. Happy Holidays to you and yours. Don't take for granted the lovely families that you have today.


xoxo,
Anne & Jim

National Adoption Month

In honor of National Adoption Month, I ask that you do one thing to promote our adoption journey. That can be sharing our profile, reaching out to friends and family, making an announcement at church, or just a simple prayer. You never know when or how our miracle will happen. Thank you

This

"Sometimes God will inconvenience you to help somebody else. Instead of getting frustrated when our plans don’t work out, we need to remember that it’s not all about us. Maybe God has you there on purpose to let your light shine. Maybe He’s counting on you to be a good influence on them."

Joel Osteen

October Update

This morning we received our monthly update from Angel. In the month of October, our profile was viewed 132 online, and went out a WHOPPING 21 times to potential birthmothers. Wow. That's a lot! I have to keep reminding Jim and myself that we just have to trust the process. Yes, the journey hasn't been easy. But we are blessed in so many ways. We plan to continue to enjoy the life we have today - not focus on the life we hope to have in the future. All we ask is that you continue to keep us in your prayers, and don't hesitate to spread the word, our blog, our email, etc., with anyone you think may have a connection.
Have a great weekend and God bless!

September Update

This afternoon we received our monthly update from Angel Adoption, Inc. Our profile was sent out 10 times to potential birthmothers and our online profile was viewed 89 times. I don't really track the online profiles much, as I think it's mainly other adoptive families reading each others profiles (competition, if you will).
10 times. I guess that's 10 opportunities for us to find our baby. Sometimes though, it's a reminder like that was 10 opportunities that came and went. I start questioning our profile; is something coming out wrong? I start questioning us; what makes another family more appealing, and we get left behind? I know I just have to keep a good attitude and put all of our trust in God that this will work out as it is suppose to, and one day, the journey will all make sense. In the meantime, I've noticed that I'm feeling frustrated and a little sad.

Prayer

"Father, thank You for the blessing and victory You have in store for my future. Thank You for allowing me to see and hear in my heart the good things You have planned. I choose to keep my eyes on You and declare Your blessing over my life in Jesus's name." 1 Kings 18:41

Why God took so long to give me a baby

My dear friend, Jennifer sent this link to me today (luckily I was at home on lunch, because I was a blubbering mess).

Jim and I are coming upon our four year wedding anniversary. Also known as, to me, our four years of waiting to grow our family. FOUR YEARS. I vividly remember reading blogs written by women sharing stories of their fertility/baby struggles, and it taking 4+ years. I remember thinking "I just can't imagine..." "how do you get through that?.." "wouldn't you just give up?!.." 

I can imagine it now, because I've lived it. You get through it by waking up every morning, by breathing, by the grace of God, by the support of friends and family, and because the desire to be parents was placed in your hearts before you even knew each other. Yes, you do want to give up. You want to give up on trying every month with no success. You want to give up on injecting your body full of drugs that make you fat, bloated, bruised and a raging emotional bitch. You want to give up spending thousands of dollars to lose two babies in two years. You want to give up on your marriage because you want your spouse to have the family they deserve. You want to give up on yourself because you feel like your body, your womanhood is failing you.  You want to give up on adoption because all you really know is disappointment and heartbreak. But you never give up. You keep moving forward.  You keep loving each other through it. You keep praying in hopes It’s because He’s forming something so breathtaking and beautiful…it cannot be rushed.


You keep praying.

Broken Hallelujah

August Update

We decided it would be best to keep our profile active, even shortly after the failed placement. I guess our love for Nora proves our desire to be parents and we know our child is out there and we don't want to close any doors in the meantime. Since we had been in-active for several months, and most of August, our Angel update was a little lower than normal - Our profile went out 5 times to potential birthmothers, and our online profile was viewed 97 times.


We are hopeful for good news this month. Before we met Ayanna, I kept praying specific prayers to bring us a baby in September... once we were connected, I just thought God was showing off (totally kidding). So maybe that wasn't our answered prayer, and it's still to come this month?


Keep praying for us.

Let It Go

This.

A weekend with family

Jim and I flew to Montreal, Canada this past weekend to celebrate brother Sam, and Rachel get married! We weren't planning to attend since we would just have come home with a newborn, and I think the agencies frown upon adopted children leaving the country before everything is finalized, (not to mention we wouldn't have a passport for her). Any who, as you all know, we ended up being available and Mom and Terry were gracious enough to make it happen. And we are very grateful.

Albeit tough to talk about, we did appreciate the lengthy, tighter hugs we received from our friends and family that have been thinking about us since we lost Nora. Several people throughout the weekend expressed their sentiment and love for us. In the end, as I have said before, we feel your support. Thank you. 

Here's a few pictures from our family time this past weekend.

Family is the most important thing in the world.

~ Princess Diana

Thy Will

Thank you Father that your plans stand firm even when I try to take over. Help me to wait patiently on you and to trust you to bring your plans in your way and in your time. Amen.

How to Survive?

Yes, I Googled "How to survive a failed adoption placement".
I stumbled across this post, and I'm glad I did. We all heal in different ways. We all need to go through the process. But these simple reminders give me hope.

Momma

Messy hair, shirt inside out & no pants. 

This is one of my favorite pictures of us. Mommy and baby, talking with our eyes. I loved being her momma. I loved no sleep. It meant our dreams had come true. That we had our sweet child to care for. I loved getting to know her; what she liked, what comforted her. I loved how she held so tightly to her pacifier. I loved her yawn. I loved her waking up and that it was a 20 minute process involving some of the sweetest sounds only God can create.  I loved every hot mess second. And the depth of my longing for her is inconceivable. 

It Is Well

A friend from high school, Shannon, that has supported Jim and I for months through our adoption journey, sent me this song today. She prayed that it would speak to me. It did.

"Far be it from me to not believe,

even when my eyes can't see.

And this mountain that's in front of me,

will be thrown into the midst of the sea. "

This song is on repeat in my office this morning. It was harder than expected to get to work today. But I did it. And the encouragement and support I needed this morning came in all forms: calls, texts, funny pictures, animal pictures, and this song. It's impossible to put into words what your support means to us. 



How are we doing?

Oh man, I don't even know how to answer that question. We are back at home. It's weird. It's weird because it feels normal. Normal but quiet. Normal but somber. Normal but empty. Normal but not. We never planned to walk back into this house without Nora. If this is normal, what was last week? A dream? It's all very confusing. 

I'd like to say that everyday gets a little easier, but we haven't gotten to that point yet. Today, for example, has been hard on me. It's my fault, I looked at pictures and videos as soon as I woke up today. Jim and I are doing what we need to be doing; we get out of the house (mainly to walk Leonard), we talk about her, we snuggle, we're loving each other, we do side projects, etc. The littlest things make us exhausted. Neither of us have returned to work yet. But we're shooting for Monday. It's just going to take time to find peace, I guess. 

For now, I'm laying on the floor in the nursery with Leo (he loves this rug), just thinking about our adoption journey so far. It's been harder than we thought it'd be. But everyone keeps saying there's a bigger plan just waiting for us. We really hope that's true. 

The Unthinkable

This is a post I never dreamed I'd have to write. 

Yesterday afternoon, we got word that the birthmother revoked her rights and we needed to place little Nora back with Ayanna. We knew there was a risk. But after all of our time with Ayanna and the many conversations we had, we just weren't afraid. We were led to believe we would be Nora's parents. That we had nothing to fear. We were wrong. 

We spent all of last night loving Nora. I kissed her thousands of times and told her how much we love her. That we know she'll be okay. That I'm sorry I couldn't stay her momma... She will never know of us. But we will love her for the rest of our lives. We loved being her parents for 7 short days.

Coincidentally our moms made the trip to Decatur just moments before we got word of the revocation. We are thankful to have such a strong village. They are a tremendous help. In fact, they drove sweet baby girl back to Statesboro to Ayanna. I wasn't strong enough to do it. I could barely strap her in her car seat knowing I'd never see her precious face again. We are absolutely sick and heartbroken. At this point we are just in survival mode. And that's probably for the best. 

Here are a few pictures of our time with sweet Nora Wynn; including our last photo as a family. 

Ayanna, if you read this, we forgive you. We want the best for you and your girls. Please cherish every moment with sweet Nora. Raise her with compassion, respect, patience, education, comfort and love. We will think of you often and keep you in our daily prayers. 

Anne & Jim

Decatur

We made it to Decatur where we will spend the rest of the 10 days in Georgia. Meg and Brandon have graciously offered to host us until we head back to Illinois. Not only that, they have opened their doors to our parents, who are anxious to meet Nora. 

It was bittersweet leaving Statesboro. We truly enjoyed every moment spent with Ayanna and her girls. Specifically, our time in the hospital. Nora's due date was originally 8/15, with a scheduled c-section for the week prior. However, Ayanna's blood pressure was dangerously high, and the doctor saw it best to deliver much earlier. Jim and I were present in the OR. I'm so grateful for this. Mainly to be there with Ayanna and support her. Of course it was incredible to see Nora moments after birth, but being together for that moment was so special to me. We were fortunate to have a room down the hall from Ayanna and spent most of our time sitting at her bedside so she could hold Nora. We talked, we watched tv, we even played Uno! Ayanna is doing her best to physically heal from her surgery. I wish we could make that part of it easier for her. In fact, we want to make all of this easier for her. She is our hero. Her act of love to give Nora her best life has answered prayers we have been praying for many, many years. The love we feel for Nora's birthmother is unexplainable. 

So we're settled here in Decatur now. Thank you for all of your prayers and well wishes. We are more in love than we could have dreamed. Here's our first family photo of the three of us (Nora is a little camera shy). :)

Nora Wynn Meek

She's here! 

Nora Wynn Meek was born at 4:32 pm on Friday, July 29th. Weighing in at 6 pounds 3 ounces and 20" tall. 

She's absolutely beautiful and we are completely and undeniably in love. I will write of her birth story soon, but wanted to let all of you know that she's here and she's perfect. 

God is good. Grateful doesn't even touch our emotion. 

With joy,

Anne, Jim, and Nora 

The waiting game

We've been in Georgia since Saturday evening. All is well - we thought today might be the day as Ayanna's blood pressure is really high. We spent time at the clinic and the hospital. Luckily, they sent Ayanna home with some blood pressure medicine in hopes baby can cook until 38 weeks (Monday). 

In the meantime, we have spent a part of each day with Ayanna and her girls. We are glad we are here. We love spending time together and being here to support Ayanna in any way we can. Our hearts are hopeful and anxious to meet little girl. We will do our best to keep you posted via this blog and texts/phone calls. We feel your prayers and we are grateful. 

Last night at home

Momma took a picture of us before she drove away with Leonard. Our last picture of just the two of us at home. 

This afternoon Jim and I took a much-needed nap. Leonard at the foot of the bed and Lilly came in and slept on my side. I thanked God for the moment of reminding us how beautiful our small little family has been for so many years. And I was very aware that the next time we're all laying in our bed we will be a family of five. We are so blessed.

It takes a village

Whelp, looks like we are heading to Georgia TOMORROW! Doctors don't think she will make it to 8/08, and it's just too important to us to be there, than to cross our fingers and wait. 

As you can imagine, our stress and anxiety levels skyrocketed since we thought we had another week and a half to plan and purchase items. Thankfully, our village is strong. Within 4 hours, we had a changing pad, crib mattress, swaddle blankets, wipes, pacifiers, newborn clothes, and more. 

It takes a village. It always has. Our village is strong. And we are grateful. 

We promise to keep you posted. 

Baby Registry

Some of you have asked about registries. Yes, we are registered. We have a few things, but defiantely not all of the essentials. If you wish to purchase from any of our registries, you can find them listed on the following link. http://babyli.st/baby-meek
We can't say it enough...thank you for all of your love and support.

Anne meets Ayanna

First of all, a huge thanks to Meg and Brandon for not only hosting me this past weekend, but for making arrangements to travel 3 hours each way on Saturday. Your support through all of this adventure is greatly appreciated. And thank you to everyone that called, emailed, or texted us this past weekend; wishing us love, encouragement, support and prayers for a good visit. Your prayers were answered.


Ayanna and I spent several hours together on Saturday, July 9th in Georgia. As I pulled in the driveway, I could barely contain my excitement. Maybe 98% excited, 2% scared... or the other way around, I'm not sure. As soon as she walked out, we hugged. I needed that. I brought some small gifts, and a letter that Jim wrote to Ayanna since he wasn't there to meet her. Throughout lunch we talked about our families, our friends, baby girl, birth plan, adoption plan, transracial adoption, etc. Ayanna is so caring and kind. Traits I know baby girl will carry from her; and that makes my heart happy. We walked around the local mall just chatting, joking and laughing, just like old friends. When I dropped her off at home, and pulled out of the driveway, I immediately started to sob. God had answered my prayers. Every detail of our visit was exactly as I had prayed. I was overwhelmed with emotion.


As I was pulling up to the restaurant Meg had been sitting at for hours, I received a text from Ayanna. It read:

Just read the letter. After meeting you today and reading that I know I am making the right decision. And I'm happy to experience this with you and for you to have something that you have always wanted. Drive safely!

What's next? Jim and I head back to Georgia in 3 short weeks for the birth of our daughter. Please continue to keep us in your prayers as we get through these next few weeks, and of course the unpredictability of the adoption process.

Georgia on My Mind

"Georgia, Georgia
The whole day through
Just an old sweet song
Keeps Georgia on my mind"

This Friday I head to Georgia to meet Ayanna, the birthmother we have been connected with since early May. I'm not nervous. I am anxious. I am anxious to meet the woman that has become such a close friend in such a short time. The courageous woman that wants only the best for her unborn daughter, and sacrifices her happiness to provide it. The woman that is carrying this sweet baby girl that we hope to raise as our own in a few short weeks. I am anxious to meet the woman that is my hero.

I've been praying to God for all the details surrounding this meeting. For calmness of all involved. For Ayanna to feel and believe the support, love, trust and gratefulness we have for her. For this to be the beginning of a growing relationship for our daughter. That we will always be a part of each others life; sharing our families and learning from one another. For God to keep Ayanna and baby girl protected until it is time for baby to enter this world, and continue to protect for all of their days. I thank God for all the blessings He has provided for us.

Good News

On May 4th (May the 4th be with you indeed), we were connected with a birthmother in the Atlanta area. Things have progressed very well and we have started what seems to be a lasting relationship. We speak almost everyday and learn more about each other. She would like an open adoption and that fills our hearts with joy. I am grateful it is all of our intent to provide baby girl (yes, it's a girl) with endless opportunities to know how loved she is by all of her parents.  I will be traveling to Atlanta in early July to meet with her (Jim was invited of course, but for a "last minute" trip, we thought it would be easier for just one of us to travel).  Baby girl is due in August. We are very hopeful and excited. Our plan is to take things day by day, knowing this is all in God's hands.
Thank you for your continued prayers and support. We promise to keep you posted.

Prayer

"Father, thank You for the blessing and victory You have in store for my future. Thank You for allowing me to see and hear in my heart the good things You have planned. I choose to keep my eyes on You and declare Your blessing over my life in Jesus's name." 1 Kings 18:41

Rage Against the Minivan

I stumbled across this blog today and found it funny, inspiring, and educational. You can click around to specific posts about adoption, parenting, traveling, and more. If you are a mother, I'm sure you will get a kick out of her stories. I am constantly growing and learning more about myself (and others) through the adoption process. Check it out and enjoy!

May Check-In

Good morning!


April showers bring May flowers and we got a bouquet yesterday - we received our monthly update from Angel, our profile went out 12 times last month!!! That's amazing! The typically number is 3-6. And our website profile was viewed over 400 times. Good things are on the horizon, we can feel it. We are putting all of our positive energy out in the universe and we invite you to do the same.

April check-in

Good morning, friends!


Not much to update other than we just wanted to check in to remind you that we are here. No news from Angel recently regarding birthmothers. We get updates every month letting us know how many times our profile went out to expectant mothers. For the month of March, our profile was sent out 5 times, and our web profile was viewed 374 times (thanks to all of you). Angel reminds us that expectant mothers can hold on to profiles for several months before deciding what to do, so we have to keep the faith that we will be connected at the right time with the right person.


Thankfully, and by the grace of God, I have had a spiritual awakening. I have more faith than ever, and I believe good things are headed our way. So much in fact, that I have started collecting baby items again. Little by little. Jim and I put together the bookcase that we bought several months ago. I snagged a few *new* favorite baby books, and as small of a gesture as it may seem, the door to the nursery is kept open again. It's a beautiful room; full of light, and hope. Now when I walk by, it brings a smile to my face and visions of the blessings to come.


Have a great week!

Time to share again!

Can I ask that if you came to our blog today, that you share this with someone? Below is the link to our adoption profile. What about an email to friends and family to let them know you have a connection to someone hoping to adopt? Maybe someone in your Book Club has a connection you are unaware of? Share our profile with a brief description of how you know us on Facebook. Church groups are an excellent way to spread the word and create connections and support!


http://www.angeladoptioninc.com/adoption-family/profile/jim-anne/


Thank you in advance.


xoxo,
Anne & Jim

Local News

I debated sharing this story on our blog. But it's relative to our life that I feel that it's necessary. It's hard for me to find the words to express my sadness about this. My heart breaks for this young mother that didn't understand her options. Of course we do not know the details of this woman's situation, and I don't presume to. But I can't help but wish she knew that there are families waiting for babies to love and cherish. That there are resources to support pregnant women. What if she knew of us, would she have made the same decision? I weep for this baby that entered the world to be taken out so brutally. Why??? We have so much love to give. We pray everyday to have our little one(s) find us. Then we read the LOCAL news to see this. Absolutely heartbreaking. I pray this young woman finds peace and that this angel baby is in Gods loving arms being cherished as he deserves.


Please share our adoption profile over and over again. Let the world know that we are here and ready to become parents.


Please pray for this woman and her angel baby.

Thanks for sharing

Our Angel Adoption profile has been shared 23 times on Facebook. We appreciate all of the "likes" and "loves". We are so very grateful for your continued love and support. All of your texts, emails, and prayers keep us strong and hopeful. Keep doing what you're doing! Share this blog , Share our adoption profile , Share our story. We've got a feeling that with your help, 2016 is the year!

Can you do us a favor?

We are reaching out to all of you to help us find our little one. You never know if your friends cousin, neighbors daughter, co-workers niece, college students friend, might be expecting and considering adoption. Sure, it sounds like a long shot, but it does happen. We know couples that have made connections privately through friends and family. So please keep your ears open, reach out to your friends, church, relatives, etc.. We welcome all the help we can get. Please share this blog with your friends, family, and co-workers.


A few things for you to know:

• We are certified for domestic adoption
• We are open to any race and gender
• We are open to any afterbirth scenario (closed, semi-open, or open)
• We are CPR and First Aid certified
• Our email is JimandAnne1112@gmail.com
• We are not certified for Foster care

We have considered making an adoption Facebook page, website, photo books, etc.. If you think you need something to help us get the word out, let us know! We welcome suggestions. :)


Thank you for your continued support.


Anne & Jim

Checking In

Not much happening these days so that's why the blog has been pretty quiet. Please keep us in your prayers as we wait for our little one... Whenever that may be. 

Xo

Inspiration

So it’s not like we choose to put ourselves in certain situations – trust me, we never on our own would have written this script. But what I have learned along the way, and even more so this past year, is what you can make of your journey – regardless of the path. For example, we are so blessed to have supportive friends and family. It's overwhelming. Particularly, I have been drawing strength and inspiration from a dear friend that has been fighting cancer. Through it all, her positive attitude, strength, openness, and her ability to engage fully in her activities, has allowed me to rise above (transcend if you will). Oh, it’s still hard. I still get mad. I still question my faith. I still get jealous.  But as Libby, said “Allow those thoughts to happen. But set a limit to it. Maybe allow five minutes of negative thoughts and then force your mind back to the good.”  I have taken this advice to heart and use it everyday.


We will all struggle with something in our lives, many things perhaps. What is so important to remember is how much our actions and reactions affect others. You may not realize how your strength, your hope, your words, encourage someone else to keep fighting, keep praying, keep smiling.

2016

I ended the year with a cold/flu, and Jim unfortunately has began his new year with the same sickness. Other than that, we are ready to begin this new year strong, with uplifted spirits and hope for better things to come! We spent New Year's eve with two close friends celebrating at home boiling lobster and drinking champagne. It was a good way to end the year that unfortunately wasn't the greatest.

Thankfully, I woke up Friday morning full of energy and peace. The beginning of a new year is time for reflection. Time to heal. Time to pause. Time to let go and transcend. I have to say, we're a little bit tired of thinking and saying "next year is the year" but really that's all we have to hope for. We are very grateful for friends, for family and for our health. May 2016 bring all of us the best that it has to offer.