Jim and I are coming upon our four year wedding anniversary. Also known as, to me, our four years of waiting to grow our family. FOUR YEARS. I vividly remember reading blogs written by women sharing stories of their fertility/baby struggles, and it taking 4+ years. I remember thinking "I just can't imagine..." "how do you get through that?.." "wouldn't you just give up?!.."
I can imagine it now, because I've lived it. You get through it by waking up every morning, by breathing, by the grace of God, by the support of friends and family, and because the desire to be parents was placed in your hearts before you even knew each other. Yes, you do want to give up. You want to give up on trying every month with no success. You want to give up on injecting your body full of drugs that make you fat, bloated, bruised and a raging emotional bitch. You want to give up spending thousands of dollars to lose two babies in two years. You want to give up on your marriage because you want your spouse to have the family they deserve. You want to give up on yourself because you feel like your body, your womanhood is failing you. You want to give up on adoption because all you really know is disappointment and heartbreak. But you never give up. You keep moving forward. You keep loving each other through it. You keep praying in hopes It’s because He’s forming something so breathtaking and beautiful…it cannot be rushed.
You keep praying.
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