In early July we were introduced to Chase, a 17-month-old boy, as his birthmother was considering placing him for adoption. We welcomed him into our home on several occasions - it was an opportunity for all of us to see if it was a good fit. For Jim and myself, we didn't need much convincing. Chase is all toddler boy - crazy and active; full of love and joy just oozing out of him. We were patient with his birthmother as she decided what to do. In mid August, we set a court date for consent, and she cancelled it. This happened several times and Jim and I felt it was best to move on and accept that she wasn't ready. It hurt. Bad. We loved him. We wanted to add him to our family. It took the wind out of us and we decided to contact Angel Adoption.
August 22, 2017
From: Jim and Anne
Date: Tue, Aug 22, 2017 at 12:59 PM
. . . . . . .
We understand it is very
limiting. In fact, it's our last resort before ending our contract completely.
If you just want to put our last 3 months on "hold", that is fine
too. If we choose to ever use those months, we'll let you know.
We just can't keep doing
this. It's difficult to believe there are many couples that have positive,
successful outcomes through your process. Obviously we have had a ridiculously
awful experience, and maybe we're just "unlucky". Whatever it is, it
is unbearable.
If I knew then, what I know
now; about the potential heartbreak, disrespect, and expenses that this journey
includes, I would have closed the door two years ago. What we have been through
has taken the light from our eyes. And it's changed how we feel about birth
mothers and their intentions. This process has nearly broken us.
The worst of it is....we
still want to be parents. But we are absolutely exhausted by the process in
which that has to happen.
I don't know what is best for
us anymore. If a miracle baby is born and a birth mother contacts you & you
share our profile, and she selects us, the risk is minimal if anything. And
really, that's what we need - Low Risk. That's all we can consider
bearing right now.
Anne & Jim
August 23, 2017
From: Samantha
Date: Wed, Aug 23, 2017 at 5:37 PM
Subject: baby girl in Houston
Subject: baby girl in Houston
Despite the emails from
yesterday, I'm reaching out with hope in my heart. I sat with Liz this morning
to discuss this and neither of us could rationalize not presenting this
situation to you. It's as close as we will get to what you have requested. We
understand if you want to pass, I have another family I can contact. This
situation came to us yesterday and has since developed today.
If you are willing to give it
one last try, we would need you in Houston, TX asap and in order to do the
agency placement with Little Flowers (TX agency), there cannot be ANY criminal
history in your home study.
Little Flowers will coordinate relinquishment signing with birth mom 48
hours after birth. With the agency placement, it will be irrevocable.
I asked about "cradle
care" so that you would not have to be there until after signing takes
place, but it's unavailable in Houston and the hospital needs a family there
for baby's release. I can put you in touch for further
instructions and advice. ***They did say there's expected flooding in Houston over
the next few days, so that may deter travel plans. ***
*** Hurricane Harvey***
Hurricane Harvey was an extremely destructive Atlantic hurricane which became the first major hurricane to make landfall in the United States since Wilma in 2005, ending a record 12-year span in which no hurricanes made landfall at such an intensity in the country. In a four-day period, many areas received more than 40 inches of rain as the system meandered over eastern Texas and adjacent waters, causing catastrophic flooding.
Harvey then began to rapidly intensify on August 24, regaining tropical storm status and becoming a hurricane later that day. While the storm moved generally northwest, Harvey's intensification phase stalled slightly overnight from August 24–25; however, Harvey soon resumed strengthening and quickly became a major hurricane and attained Category 4 intensity later that day. Hours later, Harvey made landfall near Rockport, Texas, at peak intensity. Afterwards, rapid weakening ensued, and Harvey had degraded to a tropical storm as it stalled near the coastline of the state, dropping torrential and unprecedented amounts of rainfall over the Lone Star state.
August 23, 2017 cont.
We decided to give it "one last shot". We packed a full-size luggage bag with all of the baby stuff we could find, and a carry-on bag for both Jim and myself. To be honest, I don't remember who we called... my mom? Ashley? Anyway, it's all a blur... We booked one way flights for 5 am 8/24/2017, we dropped off Leonard at Uncle Mike's and were headed to Chicago by 8 pm. On the way to the Midway Airport hotel, we contacted the Texas agency to discuss the potential adoption. After knowing a few more details, we decided to postpone our flights to later in the day Friday, so that the social workers could meet with the birthmother. We hardly slept.
August 24, 2017
The morning hours were AGONIZING as we waited to hear from the social worker that we were "good to go" to come to Texas. Around 11:30 am, we got the call - It looked as good as it could - we need to board the plane! On the flight (one way into a hurricane!), we casually discussed names. This was hard. Harder than it'd been before. We've just lost so many names and I think we were both so guarded to get attached. We didn't settle on anything. We arrived to the hospital around 8 pm, where the birthmother had already been discharged. The nurse sent us to a private room. Shortly after, she wheeled "baby girl" in. The birthmother wanted us to name her. We spent the night at the hospital with her in the room. Still no name. In the morning, Jim and I realized and accepted that this is baby Olivia that we had dreamt of since we were dating. It felt right. She's our Olivia James. Due to the weather we were unable to meet face-to-face with her birthmother, but we did FaceTime, and we expressed our gratitude and love. We encouraged the staff to let us leave the hospital and head to Austin. Begrudgingly they let us leave so we could attempt to escape the hurricane. Social workers scrambled to meet with the birthmother for final consent, but near 5:30 pm we received a text from Birthmother (totally crying reliving this moment), "The paperwork is signed. She is your daughter."
To Date
In the midst of adopting Olivia, Chase's birthmother contacted us and her attorney and expressed that she wanted to move forward with placement. We told her our recent developments, but that we love him and would be happy to adopt him as well. She agreed and suddenly, we were a family of four! We've been home for three weeks and we are settling in as a family. All is well. Don't get me wrong - it's chaos. But it's beautiful chaos. It's all been so crazy beautiful. We are overwhelmed with love and gratitude. The journey makes sense now. So many pieces had to fall into place just as they did.
God had a plan all along. We just had to keep the faith.
