5 days

We leave in 5 days to head for North Carolina. This was our last weekend at home (hopefully) just the two of us. His bags are packed & our bags are somewhat packed. The nursery is stocked and ready. The basinet is next to where I sleep. For now it is empty...but (hopefully) not for long.

I've spent a lot of time in the nursery lately; nesting, if you will. I've organized the baby books, folded all of his clothes (which contrary to Jim's belief, is the perfect amount)... and I've sat in the rocking chair in the corner of the room, rocking our "imaginary baby", except he's not imaginary. He's in Dinesha's belly.  He is our son. "In a matter of weeks, will I be sitting here, snuggling our son, rocking him, loving him, and thanking God?" "Could this actually be happening?", I ask myself. I smile because in my heart, the answer is yes. But I am so scared. I am so scared of the small chance that this beautiful, strong, independent, loving woman will decide to parent, and we will go home empty handed once again.

We have built such an incredible relationship with Dinesha. We love her. She calls me Care bear because I am always sending her love. We talk daily - about the hard stuff, about the funny stuff, about future stuff, all of it. We are so grateful that she wants an Open Adoption. We wouldn't want it any other way. She will be our family, too. I am excited for when our family can meet her. Not only will she always be such an important person in our life, but our entire family's as well.

I could go on and on about all of the emotions that are running through my heart and head. But I will leave it at this for now. We are anxious and ready for the next chapter to unfold. And we hope to share some good news in the next few weeks.

Much love,

Anne & Jim